Making sense of explanatory footnotes being longer than the main text
Just keep yourself busy... No hopes; only some primitive desires; semi-worries. It is always possible to get the same thing in different forms. Also, it is always possible to get different things in the same form. This means: no need to behave as you are, it is indistinguishable anyway. This means: no need to hide, you can always run.
Being as you are is a little trickier than you think it is. It is a contradictory tautology if you don't mind to call it like that. You cannot be as you are, this would be too messy -even for an existent being. You might just pretend to be someone/something. This means: no need to hide, no one is seeking.
Just keep yourself busy. Lifelessness can sometimes be a lifestyle, whatever this might mean. Understanding yourself basically means the end of the story. Once you know the murderer, it is so boring to read the story. But notice; if you know the murderer, it is also quite boring to actually write the story. So; one more time: no hopes; only some primitive desires; semi-worries.
You cannot bail yourself out, you cannot declare bankruptcy, you cannot hide, you cannot cheat. Not because you are being ethical or anything. It is simply because these are logically invalid options. Existence is partialised only when it becomes a burden.
Your explanations have no meaning in a context where you are basically not allowed to express yourself -not even to yourself. What do you want? And why exactly do you want that? (Please contact the human resources department if you think you have answered these questions.)