Balance sheet

 

Half way, says the poet. Doesn’t specify half way to what.

 

1 revolution. 1 coup. 2 casualties so far. Currently 2 active cases, of which 3 under intensive care.

 

Read not less than 1000 books, not counting Lucky Luke and Asterix. Life is an imitation of books. Good life is an imitation of good books. Good books are imitations of better books.

 

Have been intelligent enough to always surround myself with people more intelligent than me.

 

Haunted by regrets and mistakes that I did and will do.

 

Was told recently by a friend who sees me with a frequency of seven years that my look never changes. Answered that I change so fast that my look remains the same – this, in my head only; in real life, said it’s because of long curly hair that I always look young: dull enough an answer to be accepted at a coffee break stuck between skyscrapers.

 

Could have made money: didn’t. Could have made friends: did. Could have made love: didn’t know how to. Could have stopped saying could have: couldn’t.

 

Decided to make decisions. Don’t yet know which.

 

 

Hatırla

 

August 2021, Turkey

Thus we reach the end of our show. We’ll give a break for commercials before the next program.

 

Life is what you do while waiting for the skip-ad button to appear.

 

The forest fires swallowed entire villages, then moved on to a coal power plant as dessert. Yet it was still either terrorist groups, or else construction mafia opening up new areas, or else lack of airplanes, or else some broken glass. It was never the entire planet on fire. It was never that bad. Happily the news of fires were suddenly interrupted by news of flooding from three cities, which were for a change not due to terrorists but surely due to construction and bad city planning and dams. 80 people died but it wasn’t a climate crime. All of which was interrupted by a smoke coming from the forest fires in Greece. We then moved on to Afghan refugees, or else we could risk actually beginning to grasp the dimensions of the problem.

 

The best way to avoid a problem is to think about it just slightly less than the socially accepted minimum at a given moment.

 

We were born the same year. I judge we should be more or less the same age now. Told me about love and disappointment. Told me about despair and perspective. Told me about anger and depletion. Told me about effort and instability. Told me about loneliness and fear. In comparison to the emotional intelligence of most of them, I have the consciousness of an ant. So it’s an overstatement when I say I understood what they meant.

 

Did you ever give up on yourself? If I were a horse, I wouldn’t bet on me. If I were a rabbit, I wouldn’t bother reading the fortune paper I would pick for myself.

 

I want to ask if I have a right to remain silent. But I don’t know whom to address the question.