_-_Wheat_Field_with_Crows_(1890).jpg)
It
is
not
that,
as would be expected,
we
are
aware
of our condition
which,
as would be expected,
is as good
as it is bad,
which,
as would be expected,
makes
it
impossible
to improve
our condition.
As would be expected,
we
do
not
admit
our
solitude
when together.
And,
we
do
not
notice
our
unity
when split,
as would be expected.
Rüyalar görüyorum
yorgun uyanıyorum
rüyalarımı
hatırlamıyorum hiç.
Bir sürü şeyler yapıyorum
yorgun, uyuyorum
yaşamımı
hatırlamıyorum hiç.
Güneş vuruyor sırtıma
ve kahveme.
Bir toplantım var
bekliyorum.
(Çok toplantım var.
Çok bekliyorum.)
Gözlüklerim masada.
Güneş vuruyor gözlüklerime.
Yan masaya dayalı duran sandalyeye
bir karga konuyor.
Karga
bana bakıyor,
bir şey söylüyor.
Ben,
yanıt veremiyorum.
Karga
hayal kırıklığına uğruyor
galiba.
Uzun uzun süzüyor beni.
Toplantıma hazır değilim
galiba.
Keyfim kaçıyor.
Karga da.
Zıplıyor
ötedeki masaya.
I cannot let myself go.
There is a question.
We are working on it,
allegedly.
Some people mobilize
themselves and others,
to do this and that,
to get closer to a resolution,
allegedly.
Some people preach,
or teach,
or write
about the solution
- allegedly.
I am curious
and worried.
I go and ask them,
what the plan is.
Their answers
are non-answers.
And
they
know.
*
Things are
not
under control.
It was a contradiction.
I was so content
to have her next to me
so lucky
to see her
to be able to hug her.
She was so sad
for a variety of reasons,
including
her dissatisfaction
with her life
which included me.
My joy turned to sadness
sharing her feelings,
and then to sorrow
as I was made to face
of my insufficiency.
